Today is Noah Cooley’s birth day! Do not confuse that with his birthday, which will be exactly one year from now! Happy birth day, Noah Cooley!
Noah Cooley is my brand new nephew! I now have exactly two nieces and two nephews so ya’ll STOP MAKING MORE HUMANS because this is a nice balanced set I have here and I don’t want you to SCREW IT UP.
I changed my mind I love babies more than balanced sets. CONTINUE BREEDING.
Happy birth day, Noah!
Last night was Jade Marie Stanley’s first ever birthday! Jade is zero years old and CUTE.
My sister is super good at making me nieces. Keep it up!
Jade likes being small and having brown hair. She is good at both.
Happy birthday, Jade! Congrats on being born!
9:52:24 AM Justin Blake: i’ll probably turn to drugs
9:52:29 AM Bill Evans: no
9:52:31 AM Bill Evans: dont
9:52:32 AM Bill Evans: eh
9:52:33 AM Bill Evans: go for it
11:40:01 AM Sean Rodriquez: i have to take a dump but my sister just crushed one in there
11:40:21 AM Sean Rodriquez: it’s like one of those rooms in a video game where the air is green and you start losing health when you walk in
Today is not Sean Rodriquez’s birthday! His birthday was Saturday. Forgetting Sean’s birthday is a new blaix dot com tradition!
Sean is going to be the teacher you want to eat lunch with. The one you don’t mind making eye contact with at the grocery store. The one you hunt down first at your ten year class reunion. I know this. I have seen it in my palantir.
I do not have a picture of Sean because Sean is a phantom.
Happy birthday, Sean!
Today is Diana Stanley’s birthday! Diana Stanley is my sister! The younger one!
By the time Diana’s birthday rolls around I’m usually too burnt out on birthday posts to say anything worthwhile. The youngest always gets the short end of the stick.
Or maybe they get the whole stick because they are the baby. I don’t remember.
Diana did a pretty good job making an awesome Piper, so I’m sure the Jade she’s cooking now is going to be cool too. Just wait. I’m calling it. Nieces everywhere!
Diana does not like theme park body water. It’s not a favorite.
Happy birthday, Diana!
Today is Lindsay Hall’s birthday! Lindsay Hall is my sister!
Lindsay is not too old to see a midnight premiere of the last Harry Potter movie. I still need to call her so we can talk about how great it was and how sad we are that there are not going to be any more.
Lindsay lives where people spontaneously burst into choreographed song and dance while walking down the street. Does that make you want to visit? It makes me want to visit.
Happy birthday, Lindsay!
Today is also Tyler Griffin’s birthday! Tyler moved away a long time ago as part of an elaborate plan for me to run out of things to say about him in birthday posts.
Happy birthday, Tyler!
Today is James O’donnell’s birthday! James likes gardening and asking you to set up dates with famous actresses. I missed James birthday dinner because I’m a terrible friend.
James is the kind of guy who will read the first six Harry Potter books but skip the last one in favor of a brief plot synopsis at a party. This won’t stop him from going on a man date with you to see the last movie even though they run on foot when it helps the plot and/or the suspense.
Happy birthday, James!
Today is Thomas Welfley’s birthday!
If you ever need a pair or an internet DJ or a deep dish pizza, Thomas is your number one guy.
Thomas introduced me to Cheddar & Jalapeno PubCheese. I am eating some right now. It is good. Thomas is smarts. Bucky smarts.
Happy birthday, Thomas!
Today is Kati Cooley’s birthday! Kati is my sister through the transitive property!
Kati is the only Android user who got mad when Verizon finally updated her phone to 2.3. Out of all my sisters who are pregnant, Kati is one of them.
Can she beautify my gnarly toes? We’ll never know.
Happy birthday, Kati!
