Happy Birth day, Noah!

11 Oct

Today is Noah Cooley’s birth day! Do not confuse that with his birthday, which will be exactly one year from now! Happy birth day, Noah Cooley!

Noah Cooley is my brand new nephew! I now have exactly two nieces and two nephews so ya’ll STOP MAKING MORE HUMANS because this is a nice balanced set I have here and I don’t want you to SCREW IT UP.

I changed my mind I love babies more than balanced sets. CONTINUE BREEDING.


Happy birth day, Noah!

Happy Birthday, Jade!

6 Oct

Last night was Jade Marie Stanley’s first ever birthday! Jade is zero years old and CUTE.

My sister is super good at making me nieces. Keep it up!

Jade likes being small and having brown hair. She is good at both.

Jade Marie Stanley

Happy birthday, Jade! Congrats on being born!

Terrible Mentor

14 Sep

9:52:24 AM Justin Blake: i’ll probably turn to drugs
9:52:29 AM Bill Evans: no
9:52:31 AM Bill Evans: dont
9:52:32 AM Bill Evans: eh
9:52:33 AM Bill Evans: go for it

Been a while

10 Sep

11:40:01 AM Sean Rodriquez: i have to take a dump but my sister just crushed one in there
11:40:21 AM Sean Rodriquez: it’s like one of those rooms in a video game where the air is green and you start losing health when you walk in

Happy Birthday, Sean!

22 Aug

Today is not Sean Rodriquez’s birthday! His birthday was Saturday. Forgetting Sean’s birthday is a new blaix dot com tradition!

Sean is going to be the teacher you want to eat lunch with. The one you don’t mind making eye contact with at the grocery store. The one you hunt down first at your ten year class reunion. I know this. I have seen it in my palantir.

I do not have a picture of Sean because Sean is a phantom.

Happy birthday, Sean!

Happy Birthday, Diana!

14 Aug

Today is Diana Stanley’s birthday! Diana Stanley is my sister! The younger one!

By the time Diana’s birthday rolls around I’m usually too burnt out on birthday posts to say anything worthwhile. The youngest always gets the short end of the stick.

Or maybe they get the whole stick because they are the baby. I don’t remember.

Diana did a pretty good job making an awesome Piper, so I’m sure the Jade she’s cooking now is going to be cool too. Just wait. I’m calling it. Nieces everywhere!

Diana does not like theme park body water. It’s not a favorite.

Ew body water

Happy birthday, Diana!

Nathan Quotes

2 Aug

Yep, another quotes post….

Nana is a good super hero. I’m a super hero with a cape. Nana is a super hero with no cape.

I’m a germ. I live in a garbage can.

I want to be tall and married.

Dragons are scaredy.

Nathan: you get my ice cream?
Kari: Daddy’s getting it
Nathan: Daddy’s not the ice cream man, you’re the ice cream lady

I’m a bug expert

I have a daddy, and a mommy, and a brother. I need a sister. How do I get a sister? I know! I draw a map, and color the map, and follow the map.
-7/16/11, too much Dora The Explorer

No wimoweh? How a do. Give me a break.

Some snowmens sink, some snowmans don’t sink. Snowmans sink, how we get them back.

I’m not a son. I’m not yellow, round, or in the sky. I’m just a kid.

What happened to your body? You got stripes. You’re not a zebra.
-7/22/11, the result of 2 kids

What’s in Aunt Diana’s body?
-7/23/11, a baby

Christmas tree, check!
Toys, check!
Other Christmas decorations… that check is missing.
-7/24/11, pretend Chrismas

Sundae doesn’t go to work, she’s not a daddy, she’s a cat.
-7/25/11, part-time office kitty

I don’t need itch cream, I need a magician. Hmmm…. no magician in this house, we need to go far far away to get a magician at Nana’s house.
-7/25/11, bug bite relief


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